I opened the newspaper
to read the screaming headline:
BASEBALL COUP: CHANGES TO COME
I read about the multi-billionaire,
Mal Odor, who took over the offices of
baseball commissioner Rob Manfred.
Odor issued the following proclamation:
“Baseball needs reorganization, therefore
these following rules will be implemented:
*Salaries are too high.
They will be cut in half.
*Games are too long.
Now they will be limited to six innings.
*All amenities such as food and bathrooms
will be eliminated to cut costs.
*No foreign players will be allowed
in the major leagues – America first.
*A 25% tariff will be added to the cost
of a ticket so owners can accumulate
even more wealth.
These orders go into effect immediately.
signed – Mal Odor, Czar of DOBE.
After reading this I thought this is
the end of American baseball
as we know it.