SPORTS INJURIES OF A WEEKEND WARRIOR

OK, body parts, sound off.

Foot: I can’t get a toe-hold today.
Brain: I have a headache.
Arm: Me? A tender tendon.
Nose: I’m running all day long.
Tooth: Put a cap on it, I’m done.
Eyes: Don’t like the way I look.
Heart: I don’t have any.
Lung: Count me out, I’m breathless.
Liver: Drank too much last night.
Kidney: I’m all flushed out.
Elbow: I’m bent outta shape.
Shoulder: I need a day to cry on myself.
Finger: I can hardly lift it.
Stomach: It aches.
Penis: I can’t get up.

Oh, it’s gonna be difficult climbin’ outta bed.
Think I’ll have to go on the Injured Reserve List.