What about TV sports for normal people?
What about a Super Bowl for the athletically challenged?
I mean, how many Americans are gifted jocks?
I don’t know any major leaguers, hockey goalies,
hulking linemen, or atavistic power-forwards.
I can’t afford games in major arenas,
and I don’t follow the tweets of high-priced stars.
Perhaps an Olympic-style program could be aired,
showcasing the following events:
*Fastest racing to the local supermarket.
*Fastest sprinting to the outlet store.
*Most good deeds done in a day.
*Most patience in the post office line.
*Least time spent worrying about money.
I do not take vitamins or supplements.
I do not spend hours at the gym.
Where is my trophy, my highlight reel,
my blue ribbon, for being a regular person?
I want to see my name on the tube!