Having been tagged with the nickname
“the Professor” ever since I was little,
I am charmed by the names given
to the glorious heroes of the past,

Reggie Jackson, “Mr. October”
What happened to the other months?
“Shoeless Joe” Jackson
Could you play without cleats?
Stan “the Man” Musial
What else could you be – a girl?
Ted Williams, “the Splendid Splinter”
Does it hurt?
Lou Gehrig, “the Iron Horse”
Hard to move around the base?
Dennis “Oil Can” Boyd
Do you need help for your pitching arm?
Harold “Pie” Traynor
Do you eat while you field?
Jim “Catfish” Hunter
You’d rather go fishing, right?
Walter “Big Train” Johnson
Ready for the team’s road trip?
Edwin “Preacher” Roe, Sal “the Barber” Maglie
Did you consider other professions?

There are hundreds more,
some flattering, some not.
I think I’ll stick with mine.