FAIR IS FOUL*

Shakespeare knew his baseball
and suggested there be
no distinction between
fair and foul balls.
Like with a cricket pitch,
all areas of the playing field
should be considered fair territory.
Baseball is slow; snails play faster,
so consider having all foul balls
in play, handled by fielders
scooping up grounders that riccochet
off the left and right railings.
For balls hit in the stands,
the batter would be allowed
only two such shots and would
be retired after a third such ball.
The baselines would only be
necessary for running.
This modest proposal should make
baseball more exciting, and faster,
thus pleasing the Bard and
millions of impatient fans.