Donald Trump, the new manager of the Mets,
is holding his first press conference:
“This season’s gonna be yuuge!
We will have so much winning,
you might get bored of winning.
Other teams are great, but we’re gonna win.
We’re not gonna let other countries
take our ballplayers; we’re gonna build a wall,
and they’re gonna pay for it.
Hillary, the manager in the other league,
shouldn’t even be allowed to manage.
She’s a woman and I’m not s’posedta say
bad things, but really folks, come on.
You gonna hit me with another
‘gotcha’ question? Bring it on.
You watch, I’m gonna be extremely tough
on all those who want to make our team weak.
Trust me, we’re gonna make our team great again,
but if I lose I will call myself ‘a loser.’
That’s not happening.”