AUTOGRAPH HOUND

Ronnie, a huge baseball fan,
never actually goes to a game,
but combs the minor league parks
at the end of games to wait
for the ballplayers to leave the park
so he could secure the autographs
of players he deems up and coming.
It’s like investing in stock futures
betting that this or that player
will be promoted to the major leagues
with the chance of becoming a star.
Most minor leaguers are happy
to grant Ronnie’s request,
happy for the attention.
Ronnie sells his autographs on E-Bay
along with a letter of certification.
It’s not quite a living,
but he gets by, always hoping
that the next autograph
will be his meal ticket so
he and his wife could finally
go on that cruise to Alaska,
a place they’ve always wanted to visit.