A GEORGE CARLIN BASKETBALL POEM

Some serious basketball questions:
I wonder why it is called a “foul” shot.
Does that mean it is inherently smelly,
and would drive players from the floor?
Would you say a “fair” shot should be launched
at least twenty feet from the basket?
And why is that center area called “top of the key”?
Do you need one to complete your shot?
I wonder, too, why they call the foul area “in the paint”?
Yes, I understand the hardwood might sport
a different color, but you’re still on it, not in it.
It also bothers me that after four quarters
it’s called “overtime,” because everything
happens over time, doesn’t it?
Shouldn’t it be called “time over,”
because the final horn has sounded?
And finally, why is it still called a “backboard”
when most of the modern ones are made of glass?
These are some of my philosophical questions
as I sit here on the far end of the bench
where I play in the Y’s over-40 league.