Take me out to the ball game
Is it handicapped accessible? I’m a bit lame
Take me out with the crowd
I’ll remove my hearing aid; it’s pretty loud.

Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack
Hopefully they won’t cause my denture to crack
I don’t care if I never get back
Particularly if I have a dementia attack.

For it’s root root root for the home team
I might be in the men’s room, I have a weak stream
If they don’t win it’s a shame
I forgot the score, I must proclaim.

For its one two three strikes you’re out
If I could see the scoreboard there would be no doubt
At the old ball game
If I fall asleep call my name.