ALBERT THE GREAT *

the game was approaching the seventh inning
and going nowhere

I was sorely in need of that stretch
wanted to pee like a racehorse
and had cracker jack on my mind, then

like magic, within a few plays
the bases were loaded and up stepped albert
the dodgers called a timeout
and the pitcher was changed, game on

busch stadium went quiet as the reliever
filled his lungs with sweet missouri air
drew back his arm and sent a slider
straight from the handbook

pujols swung the way he does and
the ball seemed to go straight over the gateway arch

there is nothing sweeter than four runs
or finding an empty restroom in a full house

when the cardinals win…