Can he hit a ball?
Not in a pig’s eye.
Can he swing a bat?
No, but he loves to sit on a swing.
Can he catch a ball?
All he can catch is colds.
Does he use a mitt?
No, but he loses his mittens.
Can he throw a fast ball?
No, but he is a pro at throwing up.
How fast can he run the bases?
He can hardly make it to the potty.
How does he look in a uniform?
He looks great in form-fitting diapers.
Are you ready to sign him up?
Sure, especially if he eats his spinach.
He’s really cute in a baseball cap.