I WAS THE MAN

Working the plate at a high school baseball game
The day was hotter than Satan’s balls

The away team’s third-base coach was flirting with me
I was a deeply closeted 18-year-old umpire

He used any excuse to talk to me like calling time outs
Bringing me water between innings

His shorts were a little too short and his 3rd-base coach
Signals looked suspiciously like voguing

He was also the catcher’s older brother and when their side
Was at bat, I could tell they were talking about me

I was not flattered, I was self-conscious, worried about
What signals I might have been giving off

I’d hoped it wasn’t my accidental mismatched socks or
The bandana I used to wipe away sweat

After the game he [Ben] called to me in the parking lot
He’d written his number on a bazooka wrapper

Call me he said, I want you to umpire my adult softball game
I had to look up NAGAAA when I got home

North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association
I started to sweat as soon as I picked up the phone