As avid Yankee fans and thus avid Red Sox haters, we would be cruel and immature to drag out all the jokes about losing. It would be silly and pointless for us to mock the Red Sox … their pitchers do it for them. So being totally immature and having no sympathy for the Red Sox, let’s now drag out all the loser jokes.
What is the difference between a Yankee hot dog and a Red Sox hot dog? They still serve Yankee hot dogs in October.
The Red Sox have to expand their payroll to hire a Heimlich coach.
The Seven Dwarfs fell into a deep ravine. Snow White peered into the steep chasm and called out to the dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, “The Red Sox are Playoff contenders.” Snow White thought, “Thank God! Dopey survived!”
The American bobsled team is recruiting Red Sox players. No one goes downhill faster.
What do you a call a Red Sox player with a bottle of champagne in his hand? A waiter.
What do you call a Red Sox who can make a catch? A fisherman.
What do you call 25 millionaires around a TV screen watching the playoffs? The Red Sox.
What does a Boston Red Sox fan do after his team wins the World Series? He turns off the video game.
What do you call a Red Sox wearing a 2012 World Series ring? A thief.
They are going to call the next hurricane The Red Sox … they hope it doesn’t hit anything either.
It was so rainy in Baltimore, the Red Sox couldn’t see who was beating them.
The teacher asks, “Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?” Billy says, “Yeah, Pennsylvania!” The teacher replies, “Now where is Detroit?” Suzy says, “That’s in Michigan!” Trying to confuse the children, the teacher asks, “Where’s Boston?” Tommy raises his hand and says “Third place.”
• On take-your-daughter-to-work day, the Red Sox played against their daughters and lost, 12-3.
• You heard about the big oil spill off the Atlantic coast? Well they’ve hired the Red Sox to help clean it up. Yeah, they just go out there and throw in the towel.
• They had to close the Red Sox Restaurant – too many players were choking.