LET’S RUIN BASEBALL *

I hate seven inning games.
It’s like quitting work at noon.
Only running an eighty-meter dash.
Reducing the Kentucky Derby to a mile.
Playing two periods in hockey,
three quarters in basketball,
having a five round heavyweight fight.
What?
Million dollar players can’t play two extra innings?
And I also hate starting a man at second in extra innings.
What is the rush for these players to get home?
To check on their steroid supply?
To deposit their million dollar checks in the bank?
These are athletes in the prime of their lives.
So you have to cut the game short by starting a man at second?
Don’t tell me it is for the fans.
Hell, we can leave anytime we want.
We can catch the game on the radio and that new invention – TV.
We are on a slippery slope here.
Why do we need four bases?
Why not three? Speed up the game?
How about a foul ball can count as a third strike?
Go sit down, buddy.
And why not one strike?
Baseball has done quite well for years – why the rush to ruin it now?*