I am Ted Fucking Williams,
aka The Kid, The Splendid Splinter, Teddy Ballgame,
some uncomplimentary ones I’ve decided to forget here.
I was the greatest hitter ever,
though not often the best person to my family.
When I return, in the near or far future,
I will again be the greatest hitter ever,
and I will try to be better to my family.
THE POETRY OF THE GAME