In my first trade war
I took a sum of money to jump my contract,
then stayed put and kept the money
What were they going to do, sue me?
In the next trade war
I acted as Ban Johnson’s agent
and convinced several of my Pirate teammates
to move with me to his American League
Did that earn his undying gratitude?
Hell no
It took eight years, but he got rid of me
after the Lajoie hitting spree against us
Season-ending games between non-contenders
always had, and continue to have, aspects of farce:
witness the fact that McGuire and I,
both over forty, caught for part of the day.
I had the last laugh, winning my lawsuit
for the 1911 salary I was due,
though if I had to do it over
I would manage the doubleheader differently