I was a decent major-league pitcher,
but I’m not here because of my pitching prowess
And I’m certainly not here for my nickname, Sugar,
something that shows the imagination of sportswriters.
No, I’m here for one reason:
I was the one who pitched to Eddie Gaedel.
I know the stuffed shirts didn’t like it,
but I thought it was great;
I wouldn’t have been able to throw a strike
even if I hadn’t been laughing so hard.
We didn’t become friends or anything,
but we will be linked forever,
and when I heard he’d been beaten to death
I felt I should go to his funeral.
It’s a shame I was the only person
from organized baseball who did.