News Flash!
Baseball owners have decided
to extend the season
well into the winter months.
(They say they need more money.)
Of course, some changes need to be made.
To wit:
* Orange baseballs will now be used
to contrast with the whiteness of the snow.
* Potential grounders, stuck in the snow,
will now be counted as strikes.
* Only line drives and fly balls
will be considered as hits.
* Pitchers will be allowed to wear
gloves on both hands.
* Snow shoes will be worn
instead of cleats.
* If there is frostbite,
the game shall be called.
* Fans will be given hand-warmers
and free hot chocolate.
Winter ball will be successful, owners claim.
“We need more games to satisfy the fans’ hunger
for our all-American pastime,” they say.
“Play ball; everyone should be happy now.”