Baseball owners have decided
to extend the season
well into the winter months.
(They say they need more money.)
Of course, some changes need to be made.
* Orange baseballs will now be used
to contrast with the whiteness of the snow.
* Potential grounders, stuck in the snow,
will now be counted as strikes.
* Only line drives and fly balls
will be considered as hits.
* Pitchers will be allowed to wear
gloves on both hands.
* Snow shoes will be worn
instead of cleats.
* If there is frostbite,
the game shall be called.
* Fans will be given hand-warmers
and free hot chocolate.
Winter ball will be successful, owners claim.
“We need more games to satisfy the fans’ hunger
for our all-American pastime,” they say.
“Play ball; everyone should be happy now.”