“Now, ladies and gentlemen,
be good enough
to turn your attention
to item # 22-684 in your catalogue
for a fine specimen of a ballplayer.
Who will give me an opening bid?
I have 100 million from
the gentleman in Boston.
I have 200 million from
the gentleman in Philadelphia.
I have 300 million from
the gentleman in Los Angeles.
Do I hear more?
Ladies and gentleman, please,
he is worth twice that amount.
Consider his bloodlines and his stats.
Yes, the gentleman from the Bronx.
760 million did you say?
Going once, going twice,
wait, I hear the gentleman from Queens.
Was that 765 million plus a family box?
Going once, going twice, going three times.
Sold! to Mr. Cohen and the Mets
for 765 million.
Please pay the cashier.”