How silly baseball names are –
We root for strange fauna.
We extol inanimate objects.
Do menageries like
Tigers, Cubs and Diamondbacks
step up to the plate?
Do birds like
Orioles, Blue Jays and Cardinals
toss the ball around, wing to wing?
Do Red Sox and White Sox
field their positions with panache?
Other questions arise:
Are Mariners too busy fishing for Marlins?
What have the Dodgers dodged lately,
and how can only tall Giants record strikeouts?
Let’s not forget that Brewers
may be too drunk to swing for the fences,
and Royals may just be too snooty
to get down and dirty on the base paths.
In addition, Padres are too spiritual to steal signs.
Best to name ball teams after
the cities they represent, like they do
in soccer – Manchester, Leicester, Brighton.
Lastly, who do the Guardians guard?
Let’s get rid of these silly names.