You can order anything from Amazon,
a bat, a glove, a retro jersey even.
So why not a grandchild, someone
to play catch with, boy or girl, no matter.
Yes, I’d like to order a grandchild, please,
one, at least sports-minded, or at best, athletic.
You have a suitable prospect? Great!
How would I like to pay? VISA? Okay!
Do you have a lay-away plan?
I suspect I will be paying for and playing catch
with this child for some time to come.
Would I like the extended warranty
guaranteeing a college athletic scholarship? You bet.
Please gift wrap his or her arm.
I don’t need to pay for Tommy John surgery now.
Do I want to return to the shopping cart
and order a whole team at a discount?
No, no, thank you, not yet;
let’s see how this one plays out.
Click! That’s right, I’m assured delivery
will be made before the home opener? Super!