“A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown
divided into nine innings.”

– Earl Wilson, former Major Leaguer

Inning 1

OMG, 50,000 fans, my last start, terrible, panic attack,
fight with my wife, losing grip on reality and on my fastball

Inning 2

so far, so good, walked clean-up hitter, at least he didn’t
hit it outta the park, fight with my girlfriend

Inning 3
command is off, missing the plate, 3rd walk, no hits given up,
my kid hates me, why does everyone hate me?

Inning 4

long fly ball to left, outta here? no, great catch at the wall,
when will I be good enough? My arm hurts a bit, gotta go on

Inning 5

hit a batter, glared at me, fight? need a ground ball for a dp,
slider not working well either, hold on, will club re-sign me?

Inning 6

still no hits, what if? can’t think about that, focus, focus,
I feel my sweat, blister developing?

Inning 7

over 100 pitches, how long can I last? can’t remember
what I threw just before, losing it, what’s the count?

Inning 8

ump missed the call, doesn’t want me to get the no-no,
wish my father could see me, he never believed in me,

Inning 9

can’t stand the pressure, fans roaring, one out, two,
clean-up hitter up again, bad pitch, shit, ball slipped,
right over the plate, HR!, lost the no hitter
and the game, skipper shakes my hand, feel crushed,
worthless, either I’ll drink myself blind or see my shrink.