– the congregation hushes as
the Rev. Mr. Met ascends the pulpit.

“Family and friends, we are gathered here
to mourn the loss of our beloved team.
In the springtime of our hopes,
in those halcyon days, baseballs flew off
the bats, pitchers nibbled at the corners,
and fielders gracefully captured line drives.
But misfortune soon befell our Metropolitans.
Injuries, poor play and a dearth of
starting pitching doomed our team
to the nether regions of the National League.
Panic set in as older players were sent packing
and new, untested rookies struggled
in the field and at the plate.
Large sums of money were wasted
as management attempted to
resuscitate our failing heroes.
Now the team just lies there – inert,
and all we can do is pay tribute
to the glory that might have been.
Mourners, let us pray – for next season.”