AGENT TO BALLPLAYER *

“So, you hit .227.
Hey, anybody can have an off year.
You’ll bounce back; you’re a rock star.
Don’t take the qualifying offer.
What is it? $18 mill?
Chump change.
Listen to me, I can get you more.
Haven’t I always had your back?
I’ll put out the word to other teams
you would agree to sign a long term deal
for say, 30 million a year for 5 years.
I can get that for you, trust me.
You can get a fresh start,
with a new team in a new city.
$18 million? Chump change, like I said.
I can negotiate for not only what you want,
but for what you deserve, something
that’ll make us both rich and happy.
It’s easy peasy to get people
to do what you want, watch me,
I’m the best agent in the country.”