Sitting in the stands,
during a long, long extra-inning game with
my beer flattening, my hot dog wilting,
my patience flagging, I look out
at the now half-empty ballpark
and swear I can see uniform colors fading
in the hot afternoon sun.
Hey, other sports have
overtimes and sudden deaths.
They don’t allow games
to become six-hour affairs.
So, presented here is my modest proposal:
Have one or two extra innings
to satisfy the traditionalists and purists,
and if no winner has been decided,
just give the victory to the team
that has accrued the most hits.
If it’s still a tie, the win goes to the team
that has struck out the most batters.
Me? I’m going home now.
It’s been a long day.
I think I’ll grab a fresh beer on the way.