June 4, 1974 – Texas versus Cleveland
Ten-cent beers start nine
Innings of trouble.
By the third inning, bleachers loaded,
Designated Drunks uncorked,
Umpires hugged by naked women,
Firecrackers, like grenades, tossed into bullpens,
Cherry bombs exploded in dugouts.
Texas manager Billy Martin threw kisses at the crowd,
Who threw back beer cups, rocks,
Golf balls, batteries, cokes, hotdogs
And a jug of Thunderbird wine.
200 drunk fans spilled over the fences, captured the outfield.
Martin brandished a fungo and led the charge
As Indians, armed with bats, aided by Texas Rangers,
Retook their land.
Three bases stolen (never to be recovered)
Umpires and players brushed back by knives.
Meanwhile the organist played
Take Me Out to the Ball Game.