A baseball player visits his therapist
during the off-season
“Doc, you gotta help me.
I had a lousy season, only batted .247,
and I want to know why.
My lack of hits, were they due to
trauma caused by my father beating my mother?
Were my errors a product of low self-esteem,
given that my father rarely complimented me?
Did my rivalry with my brother cause me
to be overly aggressive at the plate?
Is my failure with women
a result of years spent in the company of men?
And finally, my need to chew tobacco?
Because I wasn’t breast-fed as an infant?
In my dreams I run around in circles,
instead of round the diamond.
Doc, can you help me have a better year?”
His therapist: “Now we will begin.”